too soon to tell
It's no secret that we have all found ourselves in a dark space. in the middle of a situation completely out of our control and little to no way of getting out. trust me when I say I have witnessed first hand what is like to see suicide as a way out. I will not discriminate those we have lost to suicide by calling it an "easy way out" but that's how many people see it as. not strong enough to handle our problem.
Young and with a heart freshly torn out of my chest, it hard to not let the cloud cover up any ray of sunshine. All the reasons to live have now been covered by confusion and insecurities. The feelings of not being good enough are so quick to dance around in your heard. It breaks my heart over and over again to think about my younger self who was so sure that taking my life was the only way for the pain to disappear. I remember sitting in my room with a love letter to my friends and family firmly pressed in my palm. Crying never-ending tears thinking about what I was about to do and what state I would be leaving my family in. I would stare out of my bedroom window watching the clear night sky, wishing upon any and every star to show me a better future.
For anyone reading this who may be going through tough times and have or are considering suicide, as cliche as it sounds, please trust me when I say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I often think about the life I have lived between those dark times til now and I am so blessed and grateful to just be here. I am not saying that life will always be smooth sailing but I promise you, there is so much good in this world for you to see. There are so many faces that await your arrival. So many new conversations waiting for you. So many old friends who will enjoy your company even after years have passed. Hopefully like me, a family who loves you. There are people in this world who truly love you. There is so much more to this life than whatever situation you have found yourself in.
There are so many nights left in your life to create memories with friends and loved ones. So many cars to ride in singing along to the radio at the top of your lungs. So many beaches that await for your feet to visit. So many cities and suburbs that wait for your unknown face to travel in. So many experiences for you. So many more bad decisions for you to learn from.
Cry. Go on, cry. Scream as loud as you can. Shout out everything that weighs on your heart. Go crazy for a little bit. As long as at the end of the day you are still here. I need you here. Your family needs you here. So many people whose lives you have and will impact need you here. Your future husband or wife, and kids and grandchildren need you here. Your book still has hundreds and thousands of pages left so I beg you to keep writing your story. Once you end your life, that is it. If even for a moment before dying you regret it, there's little to no chance in changing that fate.
I understand. You're tired. You're feeling weak and unworthy, but I promise you that the best decision you could ever make in your life, is choosing to keep on living.
Young and with a heart freshly torn out of my chest, it hard to not let the cloud cover up any ray of sunshine. All the reasons to live have now been covered by confusion and insecurities. The feelings of not being good enough are so quick to dance around in your heard. It breaks my heart over and over again to think about my younger self who was so sure that taking my life was the only way for the pain to disappear. I remember sitting in my room with a love letter to my friends and family firmly pressed in my palm. Crying never-ending tears thinking about what I was about to do and what state I would be leaving my family in. I would stare out of my bedroom window watching the clear night sky, wishing upon any and every star to show me a better future.
For anyone reading this who may be going through tough times and have or are considering suicide, as cliche as it sounds, please trust me when I say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I often think about the life I have lived between those dark times til now and I am so blessed and grateful to just be here. I am not saying that life will always be smooth sailing but I promise you, there is so much good in this world for you to see. There are so many faces that await your arrival. So many new conversations waiting for you. So many old friends who will enjoy your company even after years have passed. Hopefully like me, a family who loves you. There are people in this world who truly love you. There is so much more to this life than whatever situation you have found yourself in.
There are so many nights left in your life to create memories with friends and loved ones. So many cars to ride in singing along to the radio at the top of your lungs. So many beaches that await for your feet to visit. So many cities and suburbs that wait for your unknown face to travel in. So many experiences for you. So many more bad decisions for you to learn from.
Cry. Go on, cry. Scream as loud as you can. Shout out everything that weighs on your heart. Go crazy for a little bit. As long as at the end of the day you are still here. I need you here. Your family needs you here. So many people whose lives you have and will impact need you here. Your future husband or wife, and kids and grandchildren need you here. Your book still has hundreds and thousands of pages left so I beg you to keep writing your story. Once you end your life, that is it. If even for a moment before dying you regret it, there's little to no chance in changing that fate.
I understand. You're tired. You're feeling weak and unworthy, but I promise you that the best decision you could ever make in your life, is choosing to keep on living.
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