Lydia Rees

7th January 2021 I am my fathers daughter. One. I can see the image in my head. My fathers gently hand holding me whilst i blow out the one candle on an enormous cake for my first birthday. Not too far down the track, I remember my family being at the beach. There was a section between the rocks where it looked like it was impossible to cross. The tide was high and the small canal filled and crashed with water. Eager to get to the other side, my father picked me and my brother up, propped onto both sides of his waist and just...walked through. I remember looking down at the water and back up to my father, what a hero. Fifteen. That’s how old I was when I first began to understand my father’s behaviour. Old enough to understand the  consequences  of his actions, but too young to understand the  reason behind  his actions. Eighteen. My father beat me black and blue over me quitting from a toxic workplace. Accused of "giving up" but failing to understand the bullying an

As we draw near to the end of 2019, I want to recap on the past year. Things that I have learnt, experiences that I have had, moments unforgettable. I find that writing about the year I have had allows me to revisit a previous version of myself many years later. 2019 was a big year for me. Life changing. In all honesty, I did not expect this year to be anything great but God works in mysterious ways. The easiest way for me to lay out the year I had, I will list months and events that I feel are worthy of mentioning, the good the bad, the ugly. January 2019 - In early January, my cousins and siblings went on an unplanned trip to Wollongong Beach in the middle of the night. Literally, I finished work at 11pm and then we made our way. All packed into the 12 seater van off to explore the mountainous terrain of Wollongong. Later that month, I made an annual visit to the homelands Samoa. A few blissful days with my family there. Nights with my grandma. I returned from Samoa to the news o